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Cheeks made a vid about the repeal of Prop 8, which is both hilarious and sadly true (at least to my experience). It also has an important message.

The hearteyes I have for this man, though. Seriously. And he's doing a performance with Tom Lenk (Andrew from Buffy) written by Jane Espensen (writer of too much awesome to list) and I really want to go! It could kind of be done on my way home from Atlanta to see Adam, but I'm not sure if I can do the flights that way without it costing a fortune. Thinking of it, though. It was so worth it to go down for the Laramie Project performance last year.

as a TOTALLY random aside: I am in De Smet, South Dakota, aka "The Little Town on the Prairie." It's totally surreal. Laura Ingalls and her family almost froze and starved to death about a quarter of a mile from where I am now sitting and making use of the hotel's free wifi, with a/c blasting. THIS HURTS MY BRAIN.

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There are 22 comments on this entry. (Reply.)

De Smet! I loved De Smet when we went. Have you gone out to the farm/house/museum yet? It's excellent. :DDD Farm history!

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I didn't get here until this evening, so I have mostly just gone to dinner at Oxbow, and spent some time in the pool and hot tub at the hotel. plan on doing the tourist stuff tomorrow :D

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AUGH CHEEKS. Look at the rainbows flashing in his eyes! He is just the loveliest. I'm... kind of in the mood for Bradam marriage fic? Where they get really drunk and get married accidentally and through a series of hilarious events that I can't be bothered to think up right now decide to stay married.

... I just realized this is just a Bradam version of "Drive-By Devotion". WHATEVER I STILL WANT IT OKAY. And there should be a really, really fabulous wedding ceremony eventually. Adam can bring his rainbow lasers.

Also I support you to go see Golden Guys, because that would be AMAZING.

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I CANNOT STOP WATCHING IT. HE'S AMAZING.

seriously, I've watched it like 15 times since he posted it. WHAT EVEN IS HE?

MAGICAL.

I totally want Bradam marriage fic where they like plan it and argue over decorations and catering and stuff and then just go elope in the end on a beach somewhere with Brad wearing flowing white gauze pants all barefoot and bare chested, and Adam in black leather trousers and a tight black t-shirt...

UNF.

Not that I'd say no to Bradam drive-by.

RAINBOW LASERS THO. I NEED THEM.

Golden Guys! I want to do it! (even though I cannot stand Golden Girls; it makes me want to kill things) I have to get up the nerve to call Delta and see about getting tickets to Atlanta with my miles, and if I can stop in LA on the way home....

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This video is fascinating to me.

Being straight and from a small town most of my knowledge of the gay community and it's opinions about gay marriage have come from the media and I guess I naively believed the vast majority of the gay community supported the push for gay marriage, if not by action then at least in spirit. The suggestion that there is a significant segment of people who are apathetic to the whole thing if a huge shock to me.

Or maybe I'm jumping to new misguided conclusions based one guy's satirical video about a bunch of people in a bar.

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He's actually talking about a LOT of men in the larger cities. There is a segment of the queer community who don't support it for political reasons (queers shouldn't try to fall in line with "straight" society, now is not the time for this fight, no one should be getting married...), but a there are a whole lot of men in particular (I don't really know of any women) who are apathetic and are pretty much just the way Cheeks depicts here. A lot of people, of course, DO support the fight/cause, and I would imagine a much higher percentage in smaller towns fall into that category. But when you live in San Francisco or LA (or, I would imagine, NY) and have the luxury of living somewhere that there are literally hundreds of other queers when you go out, it's harder sometimes to feel like you don't have civil rights. You feel 'normal', your life is 'normal', no one is trying to fire you or kick you out of your house or tell you you can't have insurance, and you don't want to get married anyway, because then you'd have to stop going home with those cute boys, so why worry about it?

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This makes total sense now that I've heard it, but the possibility that there were people who felt this way had never occurred to me. I'm also surprised that supporters of prop 8 haven't tried to use this in their favor, especially during the big media blitz right before the election. Like "Gays don't care if they have the right to marry, why should you?"

Another part of the video that surprised and fascinated me was the assertion that the ideal man would be "straight acting". I assume the appeal has to do with making it easier to fit into the straight world, but still I would love to know the opinions of someone who comes from that community.

BTW "that community" being urban gay men, not all gay people. Just wanted to clarify in case it read like "those people".

Edited Date: 2010-08-10 05:34 am (UTC)

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I think the prop 8 supporters don't use it because it doesn't fit in with their messages, and because it is a relatively small proportion of the overall population. Plus, they don't need to use it. their target audience doesn't give a damn how gays themselves feel, and if they ignore it they continue to benefit from the apathy and in-fighting. If they called attention to it, it is more likely to get those apathetic people riled up and actually doing something.

The straight-acting thing is actually interesting to me. I'm an urban dyke rather than an urban gay man, but I have friends and have actually done some sociological research (though that was back in college which is more than 15 years ago now). It seems like some of the desire for "straight acting" guys comes from internalized homophobia; queeny men disliking the ways they cannot help being effeminate, probably because they got bullied for it. So they want someone who is the opposite of that. I feel like that is what Cheeks was getting at with his digs at "Dick". He doesn't have much truck with self loathing. One of the things I love about him :D

There are also the boys who think that they are straight acting and want someone who won't "show them up" in public.

And the ones who are queeny and want someone butch in an opposites attract way.

I thought it was something that died out in the 90s mostly, but I'm wondering if it was just something not so prevalent in the UK which is where I spent most of the mid 90s until recently.

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I think you're absolutely right about the prop 8 supporters, although not being part of their target audience I often miss that POV. I definitely agree if attention was drawn to the apathetic population it would cause alot more unity, and the more I think about it the more I imagine that the honest emotions (or lack thereof) expressed in a bar among peers would probably disappear if you thought someone watching was likely to use it against you.

All of the things you listed as reasons for the straight-acting thing make sense even if some of them sadden me.

Beyond being adorable and charming Cheeks has also been quite enlightening this evening, as have you, thanks for chatting with me about this.

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Cheeks definitely out-adorables and out-charmings me (and everyone else on the planet pretty much *g*) but I am easier to pin down for chatting :D

Obviously I am only speaking from my own experience, but I did do a ton of work on the No on 8 campaign before the election, and I was working in the San Francisco office, so I heard lots and lots of stories about this kind of thing on top of what I witness myself. And it is kind of sad. There is far too much self hatred, and often the people exhibiting it don't even know that's what it is. :(

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OMG! Wow! DeSmet! I must have read those books a hundred times. That would blow my mind as well to stay there. If you go to any museums or anything I'd love to hear about it.

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I definitely plan to do all the tourist stuff tomorrow, and will report back, with pictures :D

♥

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I love me some Brad. ♥__________♥

I've never been to De Smet, which is strange when I think about all of the other places I've been in SD.

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I love him too. SO MUCH. like... HOW IS HE SO RELENTLESSLY AWESOME? Sparkly, and witty and hilarious and brilliant and adorable and thoughtful and charitable and so fucking hot and just... IS THERE NO END?

I've never been anywhere in SD. Until yesterday, anyway. I really kind of love it a lot. I would not love it in winter, though. And the total lack of cell towers is moderately annoying. DQ has wifi though ;)

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Brad is just Brad and I not so secretly want Adam and he back together. -lol-

SD in the fall or spring is gorgeous. I lived in the southeastern area that is lush and green with forests and lakes.... so beautiful.

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I ship the hard, despite how very much I ship Adam and Tommy. ngl, when Brad was talking about wanting to get married I wanted him to be talking about Adam :D

also a billion heart eyes that he knows what being in a relationship is because of Adam. ♥__♥

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♥_______________________♥ CHEEEEEEKS. I can't even. He has RAINBOWS FLAHING IN HIS EYES. And he's managing to mock and make a good, valid point AT THE SAME TIME. ♥.

Also, I find that "the ideal guy would be straight-acting" intriguing too, because...really? I thought we were kind of past all that "must not be seen to be gay in public" stuff (altho obv, like you said up there, it might just be a personal preference, but it seems lke he said that to make a point). Huh.

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I kind of thought we were past it, too, and I think there's totally a bitchy queen thing--they don't want anyone competing for their crown--rather than always an issue of closets, but I expect there is still a measure of that, too. IDK. it's kind of crazy. Brad was definitely pointed, though.

He TOTALLY has rainbows flashing in his eyes. yet claims to not know why. I'm pretty sure he must have had rainbow lights flashing in front of him to get that effect, so I'm not buying that :D

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Brad ♥

And I may actually turn green with envy if you do go, I've loved Jane's work for SUCH a long time and it looks pretty much awesome :)

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I get irrationally verklempt whenever Jane and Brad tweet each other. I know not why. I've loved her forever, and I love him so much... ♥__♥

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...Ooo! New internet love!

Seriously, smart, darling, and gay? Thank you for introducing me to this guy! *checks out his other vids*

"Union!...between two men!" is too awesome on which to properly comment.

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HE IS SO AMAZING I CANNOT EVEN.

and apparently what I can do is capslock. but seroiously. A.MAZ.ING.

You are most welcome! Everyone should know about Cheeks! :D

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