I can't believe it's been over a week since Wincon and I haven't managed to post about it yet. I had a fantastic time this year, right up until the point when I didn't. Unfortunately, my Wincon was cut rather abruptly short by food poisioning which meant I missed the prom and festivities, a night I look forward to all year, and most of the saying goodbye which happens on Sunday. I did, however, get to have a great day out on the strip--Wincon was in Vegas this year--with beckaandzac on Thursday, window shopping in the Venitian and then eating an absolutely amazing steak lunch at the Paris hotel. We had escargot to start, which I hadn't tried since I was fifteen. I hadn't liked it much then, but I was all about its garlic-y herby deliciousness this time. Especially with the crusty French bread and fruity tart Sangria we had with it. My steak was perfectly cooked, tender, juicy, and served Au Poivre, which is my forevergirl steak sauce. It came with the most amazing pommes frites, thin and crispy and tender. It was as though a stack of pringles had sex with a plate of french fries and had a baby. A delicious baby. We definitely didn't need dessert, although as we were walking out, I spied some delicious looking bread pudding that I'd like to try sometime.

In the hotel, on my part there was a lot of screaming about the boys from One Direction and the girls from Little Mix, sharing of stickers and decorating of cups, playing of Spanking Yoda, and screaming about One Direction some more. A group of us also played a Breakfast Show drinking game along with Nick Grimshaw's breakfast show (which on Pacific time airs live at 10:30 at night). I gave up and went to bed just after midnight, though others stayed the 3.5 hour distance. I didn't make it to as many panels as I'd hoped, due to the whole sick thing, but the kink panel was excellent, and the incest panel was enthusiastic as always :D

I made it down to the strip a second time with itsthedetails, deirdre_c and beckaandzac and we wandered the casinos at the south end. We got back just in time for Becka and I to attend the 1D panel, which turned out to be all introductions and discussion of how we got into the fandom, but was no less awesome for that. I seem to be one of the very few people who never had 1D blacklisted on tumblr. I was always willing if not ready.

I've signed up for a fic exchange posting in January, in the hopes that it would kick-start my words. I managed 1500, which is great, but my problem the last few months has lain in finishing anything I start, so I am not out of the woods yet. Fingers crossed though.

And now my lunch break is nearly over, so I leave you. hopefully I will return soon, however!

I had a million amazing moments at Wincon, and a wonderful time, but I did not have a million hours of sleep, and I have to leave for work at 6:20 in the morning, so I shall have to report later. For now, suffice to say, FANGIRLS ARE STILL MY FAVOURITE.

One of my favourite parts of Wincon every year is group writing badfic. It happened pretty much totally by accident this year, and involved a lot more alcohol than previous years' efforts, but it was still fun in the end, even though I had no idea what was happening at first. All the alcohol and confusion led to insane but ridiculous results. I'm pretty sure the whole thing is beyond random and into incomprehensible to anyone else, but lazy_daze has posted it here if you want to take a look :D

I am still missing all the fangirls from around the world like crazy, and cursing my inability to get a job at an airline when I was job hunting last year. Stupid airlines. I would be AWESOME at using my free flights to visit all the fangirls ever serving drinks and keeping people calm.

Oh Wincon, why can't you last all year????

ALSO. and totally changing the subject. I really want to marry this woman. She is hot and clearly awesome.

It's almost Wincon, and I have been super behind this year in all aspects of organizing. But I finally have hotel reservations, and plane tickets, and I want to know who besides me and my roommies are going to be there :D

[Poll #1781824]

( nws fanart is the best fanart )
beckaandzac is made of WIN.

I have (for the most part) not been commenting on people's posts about the situation wildfiring through SPN fandom at the moment. It is not because I don't care, but because I care too much. And because I am extremely uncomfortable with my comments being screencapped and used by people I do not know (or do not know if I know or not, because they are anon) for their own purposes.

Sometimes when we have strong feelings about something it makes us brilliant and articulate. Sometimes it makes us broken and dumb. I am feeling more the latter than the former, but I also feel like I cannot keep silent regarding something I feel so strongly about. The parts of this I cannot find words for have been discussed by some of those brilliant and articulate people. I hope very much that they won't mind if I send you in their direction and let what they have to say about victim-blaming, knee-jerk reactions, and cultures of violence speak for me.
brihana25's post which is a sort of open letter without naming names.
kroki_refur's post which is the one that made me feel like I could corral the frenzy of discomfort in my head and actually breathe again.
drvsilla's post which speaks to how I can have genuine sympathy for everyone concerned and still feel violated and horrified by how this is playing out. (and I do not mean to put words in Dru's mouth wrt feeling violated and horrified. those are MY feelings. I'm sure she has her own.)
and sparkymonster has a post about rape culture and how that is contributing to the situation.

Thank you, ladies, and all the other people who found themselves able to talk about this issue in a calm and clear manner, in a way that I cannot.

What I can talk about is Wincon.

I LOVE Wincon. I love the women who work so incredibly hard to make Wincon the amazing and wonderful place that it is. I love the fangirls who are crazy and diverse and wacky and wild and wonderful. I was at Baltimore in 2008, and I was at Denver in 2009, and I will be in Chicago in 2010 (I bought my ticket before the last con was even over).

There were problems in Baltimore. Not just the problems that have suddenly come up in an inappropriately public way* via the anon meme and the response to it, but problems with the hotel and getting food and some of the rooms. And coiledsoul and ethrosdemon did AMAZING and WONDERFUL things to make sure those problems were solved. Things that happened behind the scenes, that none of the con-goers had reason to know about, but that ensured that we got fed in Baltimore anyway and when we arrived in Denver there was food and drink and internet and awesomeness in the extreme. These women and all the women who helped them, who contributed time and energy and effort, did it because they love fandom and they want Wincon to be an amazing experience for people as much as possible. But they don't just care about breakfast tickets, and hotel liaison duties, and event planning. They care that people are having a good time. They ask and if there is a problem or something that needs to change, they address it. Even when it's hard. Even when it's uncomfortable. Even when it's not popular.

They do it quietly, and straight up, and on behalf of people who feel like they can't do it themselves for whatever reason. They are amazing, and they are advocates, and I really do not have words for how much I admire them. It's unfortunate in the extreme that the anon discussion and the response to it is getting conflated with their appropriate, and behind-the-scenes (so far as they were concerned), actions.

I've been going back and forth for two days, and all the while writing this, as to whether I would post it public or not. As I said, I am extremely uncomfortable with the manner in which this situation is being "recorded for posterity". But I'm a hell of a lot more uncomfortable with a lot more than that, and I think my screencapping discomfort pales into insignificance in the face of that.

I may or may not be answering comments on this post. I may end up breaking my rule against answering some comments but not others. I apologize in advance for that, but as may be clear, I'm having trouble talking about this, and I am not willing to add to my own discomfort by engaging just to be polite.

please let me clarify: I do not believe that it is inappropriate to discuss issues of being made to feel uncomfortable or anything related to coercion etc. in public. I do not believe it is inappropriate to do so anonymously. I do not believe those things even a little bit. But I do think that there have been a lot of things said publicly that should have been kept private, and a lot of things said publicly without appropriate context, and that people are being hurt. Very, very hurt, as a result.

It seems somehow appropriate that my 2000th post is my Wincon report. This weekend has been all about fangirls, and fangirls are the very best part of livejournal. I'm on the airplane right now, feeling sad to be going, but also looking forward to getting back to my own bed and my cat and my kitchen. It was an amazing weekend and I got to spend time with a lot of truly awesome people. It was long enough that I will cut for the sake of your scrolling finger, though.

( It snows in October in Denver, CO )

Now to figure out how I am going to see the 11 shows my DVR completely failed to record while I was gone. I don't understand what happens EVERY SINGLE TIME I go out of town that it stops recording, but it's clearly something. It for some reason didn't want to record House or Heroes tonight either. Really, though, it's hard to care as much as I would had I not been spending all weekend with such awesome women. I love Wincon so so much. I've bought my ticket for next year already. More on next year later.

( I have a crap memory, and I hardly drank any alcohol at all )

NOW I HAVE WITHDRAWAL

pee ess, I feel like complete crap and emailed in sick for class tonight. I feel bad, but not bad enough to drag myself in.

I have checked in for my flight (on line, it's not until tomorrow), and packed more clothes than I could possibly need, but hopefully not fewer clothes than I will actually want, planned my plane lunch (though damn, that was easier before the whole liquid thing), and am currently waiting for Mom and Dad to come and pick up Inigo.

I have a pot-luck for class tonight, which I totally don't want to go to, and I've made a really good start on next week's homework, and can probably get the rest done on the plane.

I can't believe it's finally here!

My DVR didn't record SPN tonight. I dunno. I guess it decided since I have 'Mystery Spot' on there from the first time it aired, I didn't need it again. But now I'm hearing it's not the same? That things were CHANGED???

I need more information! I need a DVR that just does what I tell it and doesn't try to make decisions for me! Why didn't I watch it? Bugger.

ETA on a tangentially related subject, I just wrote out a cheque for WinCon 08. I will post it tomorrow. I'm excited. SO MANY FANGIRLS IN ONE PLACE!