rivers_bend

I've ticked most of the 'I pretty much always like my fic' boxes, but the thing is that if I don't like something, it doesn't get written. If I start not liking something, I just abandon it - if I don't like it, and I'm writing it, than why the hell would anyone else like it? Besides, the main reason I write is to make myself happy, and writing something I don't like isn't going to make me happy. I don't have the motivation for it.

And because I have such a bad memory, when I go back and reread fic, bits of it are often a surprise for me, and I almost always get a warm glow of 'I wrote this, and it's good.' Unless it's stuff I wrote before a certain cut-off point, when I'm just incredibly shamed, because it seems I was writing badfic. But, the point where I think of my writing as getting readable pretty much coincides with the beginning of my time in SPN fandom, and I don't really pay attention to the fic before that, so it's okay.

Commentwise, it annoys me sometimes how dependent I am on them. I have an 'average amount of comments' that I get, which tends to go up or down a bit depending on length, rating and slashiness, and if something gets significantly less than that (like ET did) I begin to doubt it. When I reread ET, I was surprised that it wasn't as bad as I'd been assuming it was, and now I just feel kinda sorry for it. Like: 'I still love you! Even if no one else does!'

If I get more comments than I was expecting, on the other hand, it makes me like the fic more. I try not to do this, but it seems like my favourite fics are also the ones that have got the most comments, even though I'm sure I liked other fic more when I was writing it. But then, fandom reaction usually matches up with my gut feeling about something, so it's not like I'm constantly re-assessing all my fic.

Ugh, tl;dr, sorry.