rivers_bend

I am definitely writing out all sort of secret [thing]ness in stories. Sadness, loneliness, fear, though my way of writing out seems to be to write the -ness already solved. Most people seem to write the solution into the story. I'm pretty sure I'm scared to get that close to it. Thus my preponderance of angst-free, schmoopy stories. And because through writing them, Sam and Dean have become sort of avatars for me, I find that I cannot read many of the "solution stories" either. It's as painful for me as writing them, but with none of the catharsis.

I have got to learn to be more of a tinkerer. That is one bad habit I have picked up through fanfic (and especially writing primarily short, one-shot PWPs): getting the goods done, and getting it out there. When the point of something is to get a visceral GUH or AWWWWW from someone, good writing is good enough. When one is trying to put together something longer, with plot and character arc (beyond moving from horny to satiated), fine-tuning a sentence so it carries just the subtext you want can make all the difference. I have always been the sort of person who did just enough homework to get the grades that would get me into the college I wanted, so I was not exactly starting from a perfectionist point. (though I have become the person who needs straight As, so there is hope for me yet with this novel)