rivers_bend

So I did that WIP meme, and everyone a few people were asking about the blowjob queen fic, and it wasn't anything I EVER planned to post, but I talked to cormallen and kind of played with it and made it into something that I wouldn't die over it being on the internet, and decided I could post it.

I warn you now, this is more a snapshot than an actual fic. If you want you can pretend that there is this awesome college AU where Jared goes to UCLA and falls in love with his freshman roommate, Jensen, and there's maybe some angst and definitely some schmoop, and they move in together off campus and have dogs and a nice apartment (somehow; I think their parents help with rent) and they are about to graduate and live happily ever after. And then this is like a time stamp to that fic.

CWRPS AU, ~1700 words, teen rating (subject line and cut text from Flower by Liz Phair)




Jared was going to tell his parents about the whole being gay thing. He was. But it just never seemed like there was a good time, and then he ended up staying at school instead of going home for a few vacations, and then he actually sort of forgot that they didn't know. Then he was definitely going to tell them before he asked Jensen to marry him, but he decided they were too young to get married—they could always do it later (he never imagined that the stupid proposition would pass)—so he didn't, and well. It never happened. But now he really wishes that it had. Because the trouble with never getting around to telling your parents that your roommate is really your boyfriend, and that the reason you're staying in LA after college and not coming home to Texas isn't because the job market is better in California, but because the guy you really wish you'd married wants to stay at UCLA and go to grad school, is that instead of going on a graduation trip to New York with your boyfriend, you end up going to Chichen Itza with your sister.

It's a pretty great graduation present, as graduation presents go, a trip to Mexico. He's just not sure why they thought he should go with Megan. Other than that she really, really wanted to see the site before leaving for college to study ancient peoples or whatever, and there was no way they were letting their just-graduated-from-high-school daughter go to Mexico unchaperoned.

Fortunately Jensen hadn't booked their flights yet, and they could cancel the hotel reservations, and they can go to New York when he gets back from Mexico. But Jared is definitely feeling like he's learned his lesson about putting off important conversations just because they might be awkward and lead to your parents suspecting that you do actually have sex.

It isn't as bad as it could be, though. The Yucatan Peninsula is pretty awesome, and Megan is a lot more fun now that she's growing up. He'd gotten a glimpse of that the times she'd come out to LA to visit, but now that she's away from their parents and not trying to seem grown up and cool in front of Jared's college friends, he's starting to realize how smart and interesting she really is. Plus, she totally agreed that their first few days they could just relax and maybe do a little shopping, and she wouldn't make him climb any pyramids until at least Thursday.

Jared's putting his shoes on, just about ready to go start their second day of eating, drinking and shopping, when he gets a text. The sender is not who he expected, and his sister is the prime suspect as to why.

"Megan," Jared asks. "Why did I just get a text from someone called 'Jackhole' asking if my legs have fallen off yet?"

"Because you should not have your BFF, 'roommate', whatever you're calling him, in your phone as Blow Job Queen."

Jared blanches. "Why were you looking at my contacts list?"

"Because you were taking like six years in the shower and there was nothing else to do."

"How did you know that was Jensen, anyway?"

"Is there more than one person in your life who could conceivably be listed in your phone as blow job queen? Because if there is, I'm going to start thinking there's more to the story of Jared's college years than I know. Something disturbing that I really don't want to think about, just so we're clear."

Jared is pretty disturbed himself by the turn this conversation is taking.

"Besides," Megan continues, "I compared the number to Jared's sexass BF on my contacts list, and it's the same."

Jared decides it would be best not to comment on that. "I thought you liked Jensen," he says instead. He's going to completely ignore the fact that he never told Megan that Jensen's his boyfriend either.

"I do like him."

"So why Jackhole?"

"Because, 'blow job queen' is so LA it's disgusting. You're a guy. Guys call their friends things like Jackhole all the time. You're in Chad's phone as douchebucket."

"Chad? How do you—Please tell me I don't have to kill him. Tell me that you just stole his phone at a party, and he's never actually—" He can't say it. If Chad touched his sister, he's just gonna have to die, is all.

She laughs in a way that he's pretty sure means she wouldn't touch Chad with a barge pole and says, "Are we ever actually leaving the room today, or what?"

Later, while Megan is off looking at a skirt, Jared changes Jackhole to Jensen, because the former puts the horrifying image in his head of Megan knowing about that time Jared jacked off on Jensen's ass and licked him clean. Which pretty much puts him off the idea of sex forever and that would be a total shame. She comes back empty handed, and Jared declares it time for food.

They're sitting in the sun, with beers and little plates of delicious snacks, when Jared's phone buzzes. He decides that it would be rude to look at it at the table, but as soon as she hears it, Megan gets her own phone out, so Jared figures he might as well.

I hate you so much, the text says. Must have been a long flight, you look like shit. When are you coming home, dammit. The dogs miss you.

Another text comes right on its heels: Get that lovesick look off your face. You're on vacation with ME. His phone informs him the text is from Best Sis Evr

"You're hilarious, Megan," Jared says.

She barely glances up from where she's sending another text. Jared waits for it.

He's still waiting when she puts her phone away and picks up her beer, turning towards the street to people watch.

"Who were you texting?" he demands when his phone is still silent a minute later.

Then his phone buzzes again. Another text from Jensen. Tell your sister she's hilarious.

"Megan."

"Are you going to eat any more of these fried things? Because I'm going to finish them if you're not."

"Megan."

"What? He's my friend too. I mean, we're friendly. I thought you wanted me to like him."

"What did you say to him?"

"I told him you haven't stopped crying since we took off and that as we speak you're mumbling 'I miss my blow job queen' into your beer."

"You didn't." Jared says this without much conviction.

"What did he say I said?"

"He said to tell you you're hilarious."

"Clearly you're meant to be together. You both think I'm hilarious."

"We both think you're insane."

"Whatever."

"Remind me again why I'm in Mexico with my sister instead of in LA or New York with my boyfriend?" He can't believe he just said the word 'boyfriend' aloud to his sister.

"You could have told mom and dad I'm old enough to go to Mexico by myself. And I'm glad to hear that you can finally admit he's your boyfriend."

"Shut up." Jared hits reply and types, M knows she's hilarious. I hate you too. I miss the dogs like crazy. The hotel bed feels huge without them. And how the hell do you know I look like shit?

Jensen must have been waiting for his reply, because You do know your sister has a facebook, right? comes back before he can even put the phone down. When he looks up, Megan is stuffing the last of the food in her mouth.

"C'mon,' she says. "No more crying into your beer. I'll help you buy him the perfect souvenir."

"Do mom and dad know?" Jared will feel stupid if he worried for four years about telling them, and they already know.

"You've been living with your freshman roommate for four years. Your face lights up like he's the second coming every time you talk about him. All that's in the closet in 'his' bedroom is coats and spare sheets and towels. Do they suspect this is related to the fact that you've never once mentioned having a girlfriend? I'm gonna go with yes, Jared."

"Why didn't they ever say anything? Why didn't you?"

"We were all waiting for you to bring it up. I got tired of waiting. But don't worry. I won't tell them I know for sure if you don't want me to." Megan gives him a quick hug which nearly trips them both and sends them stumbling into a display of scarves. She apologizes fluently to the vendor, another sign that she's all grown up. Last time he checked, she was crying over a Spanish 1 vocab test.

"I guess it's time to tell them," Jared says after she's bought a scarf and returned her attention to him.

"Too bad you didn't tell them earlier. They were going to get him a ticket, too, but weren't sure how to do it without admitting they knew."

Jared stops dead in the street and stares at his sister. "You're kidding. Please tell me you're kidding."

"Okay. I'm kidding. If they let your boyfriend come they might have had to let my boyfriend come too, and they think I'm too young to have sex. But really. You have nothing to worry about."

"Except that my sister just told me that she's having sex."

"I never said that. I said that mom and dad think I'm too young."

"We're not talking about this anymore. This trip is going to scar me for life. I swear."

"Just wait til I get you to El Castillo. Everything will look better from there."

"I'm sure," Jared says to the back of Megan's head as she's off to the next stall that might be selling something she must have. He can think of about ten better ways to turn his legs to rubber than climbing a billion stone stairs, but he's keeping them to himself. Even if his whole family knows about Jensen.