drinks orders and rape culture : comments.
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(no subject)
I don't drink. At ALL. Most people in restaurants are ok with it, but friends/family and especially new acquaintences can be really weird about it. I've had people buy me orange juice with vodka in it (which, do they think I can't SMELL or TASTE it?) and numerous comments of "you should relax and have a drink" or "how do you have fun without drinking?" Eventually I started to use my dead, alcoholic Uncle as an excuse. But I shouldn't HAVE to.
For me, I don't make the connection with rape culture (esp as a lot of the time it's women saying this to me) but rather the all-pervaisive drinking culture we have in the UK. But I agree it has a different connotation when it's a guy doing it.
I'd be tempted to not tip at all, and to explain why, if asked, if a server kept doing it to me. But that's probably not the best way to have that conversation