rivers_bend

It absolutely belongs as part of the wider cultural conversations.

two things:

I live in a college town area where "ladies nights" are just an excuse to get young women falling down drunk. A coalition of women from the town decided to participate in the ladies nights and hang around the bars all evening nursing beers to keep an eye on things. Their stated goal was to discourage these "ladies drink free" nights specifically because of the way it perpetuates rape culture. I think it worked -- the leading bar backed way off on the ladies nights, yay.

second, I see these songs in pop culture perpetuating the idea that "what I did when we were drunk doesn't count" -- and I find that really, really disturbing. It sets up the expectation in the young woman that she should get shitfaced and that nothing that happens to her then is her fault or matters. That bothers me so much.

So yeah, I totally agree with you, and I think that server was WAY out of line. You could go to the manager without naming names. Even just on the principle of designated drivers. For real!!!