poisontaster: (Boykiss)

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posted by [personal profile] poisontaster at 01:00am on 21/07/2013
Not too long ago, a friend of mine recommended a het romance to me because it featured a shared kink of ours, spanking. And reading it, I realized it was the first time in a REALLY long time that I'd read a het romance that wasn't fanfic, and it was supremely uncomfortable for me (despite the fairly hot spanking scenes) because I couldn't untangle the fun part of the story from all the creepy and unpleasant patriarchal garbage that I felt came with it. And it is easier for me to read m/m (or even f/f) stories because yeah, it's a way to explore and discover and play with sexuality without having to take on all that other crap with it.
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rivers_bend: (women: garcia nails)

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posted by [personal profile] rivers_bend at 01:17am on 21/07/2013
I have this problem with m/f romantic comedies, too. I'm okay with high school movies, because the teen garbage comes to the forefront, but find it harder to deal with stories aimed at adults. I am sure there was going to be something in my original post about how much easier it is for me to write m/m than f/f (because I started talking about my mom and she is baffled by this), and i think even when she's with another woman, I find it hard not to get tied up in what my female character is thinking people will think about her if she fucks with abandon. I do much better with original fiction than fan fiction for f/f, I think because it's simpler for me to put original characters into a context where that's not a worry than it is for me to wrench female characters out of their male-dominated canons. idk. I do think it's pretty telling that the easiest f/f I wrote in fandom was Kaylee/Inara, who lived in the future, and were canon sex-positive.
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poisontaster: Rizzoli & Isles hugging (R&I Hugz)

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posted by [personal profile] poisontaster at 01:46am on 21/07/2013
Yeah, I definitely lost my ability to enjoy most m/f rom-coms, too. (not that there are hardly ANY same sex rom-coms; definitely not nearly enough *sigh*)

I find it hard not to get tied up in what my female character is thinking people will think about her if she fucks with abandon.
I find that really interesting because I feel like that's something that I went through--and eventually had to get over--in my own sex life and so I think when I write female characters (and what I want to read in my characters of either gender, but yeah, especially the female ones) that's the place I'm coming from...and it's the place that I DON'T see addressed very often in m/f romance, which is a huge turn off. But I definitely do wish there were more female characters fucking with abandon. That sounds pretty awesome. :D
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