... so I just found this post in one of my tabs, dated July 13th, and apparently I stopped in the middle of writing it, and I am not totally sure where it was going, but I'm just gonna post it like this, because at least it says something...
My mom is fascinated with slash, and why her lesbian daughter who has zero interest in dick personally is so interested in writing about it, so I find myself thinking about the whys more often than I might if no one was questioning me. I was just looking at this gifset and the tags (whatup,![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
balefully), and was struck with how much sexual freedom that represents. The freedom to sit, drooling for their genitals, at the feet of two people standing over you, is something so politically loaded for women, that it almost feels impossible. And, yes, what I'm writing is fiction, but I tend to write stories set in our world in our time, and the reality of that setting is that women and girls have grown up dealing with a fuckton of shaming (and often violence) around female sexuality. In an ideal world, I'd be able to fling off the weight of that and write characters who navigate not only the bedroom but their whole lives without feeling the effects of that, but I find it exceedingly difficult to do so.
For me, one thing writing explicit m/m fic does, is give me a way to express and explore my own sexuality without feeling the press of the socio-political. I can co-opt the less complicated sexual freedom men and boys are afforded (at least in the US and England, the two places I have experience living), and claim it as my own through my POV character and the characters they have sex with. This is far from the only reason I write slash, and the reasons are complicated, but it definitely plays a factor.
My mom is fascinated with slash, and why her lesbian daughter who has zero interest in dick personally is so interested in writing about it, so I find myself thinking about the whys more often than I might if no one was questioning me. I was just looking at this gifset and the tags (whatup,
balefully), and was struck with how much sexual freedom that represents. The freedom to sit, drooling for their genitals, at the feet of two people standing over you, is something so politically loaded for women, that it almost feels impossible. And, yes, what I'm writing is fiction, but I tend to write stories set in our world in our time, and the reality of that setting is that women and girls have grown up dealing with a fuckton of shaming (and often violence) around female sexuality. In an ideal world, I'd be able to fling off the weight of that and write characters who navigate not only the bedroom but their whole lives without feeling the effects of that, but I find it exceedingly difficult to do so. For me, one thing writing explicit m/m fic does, is give me a way to express and explore my own sexuality without feeling the press of the socio-political. I can co-opt the less complicated sexual freedom men and boys are afforded (at least in the US and England, the two places I have experience living), and claim it as my own through my POV character and the characters they have sex with. This is far from the only reason I write slash, and the reasons are complicated, but it definitely plays a factor.
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I find it hard not to get tied up in what my female character is thinking people will think about her if she fucks with abandon.
I find that really interesting because I feel like that's something that I went through--and eventually had to get over--in my own sex life and so I think when I write female characters (and what I want to read in my characters of either gender, but yeah, especially the female ones) that's the place I'm coming from...and it's the place that I DON'T see addressed very often in m/f romance, which is a huge turn off. But I definitely do wish there were more female characters fucking with abandon. That sounds pretty awesome. :D
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<3333333
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As I proceed through life (I am now 45) I am fascinated with the different ways people experience gender and sexuality. I am amazed at the progress we've made in my lifetime! Slash is something special to me because, as you say, the power relationship between men is assumed to be equal, and I want negotiations of power to be explicit in fic, not assumed because of gender. If done right, het can work for me too. :)
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hey, you <333
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Would love any other meta you may write on this topic with regards to women and their sexuality. :)
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we can find a wide range of things that satisfy our desires and i think its awesome that we have created these amazing spaces to indulge ourselves.
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There is definitely a lack of representations (though OMG I started watching Orange is the new Black last night and THE SCENE WITH LEA DELARIA, I BET YOU KNOW THE ONE), but yes. we are masters at adopting what is available. In the mean time I'm gonna keep working on my barriers to writing f/f (because MORE PLZ), and writing m/m :D
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I have the same issue as a straight woman, and it's one of the reasons M/M slash appeals so much to me. A) I find both sides of the pairing hot, and B) The expectations of sexual politics aren't so overwhelming. Whether it's visual or written media, the treatment of women in sexual settings is usually a huge turnoff to me. That whole "male gaze" thing really dominates, and it just doesn't work.
I wonder, does the F/F thing feel too personal for you? Like you might be revealing too much of yourself, or still feel like objectification intrudes, or something else? And if it's the lack of good fanfic pairings, then... what about original fiction? With your writing talents, I can see an opportunity for F/F books written for women that might just be waiting for you. ♥
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That makes me ridiculously happy. So, you're already succeeding in this area! Plus, getting 'out there' the kind of thing you'd like to read-- that can only inspire other people to read and write, too. :)