rivers_bend

for diachrony, because she asked.

The English Patient ~ it was terminally yellow, terminally boring and nearly endless. I liked the subplot of the nurse and the bomb disposal expert, but every scene with Ralph Finnes and Kristen Scott Thomas made me want to rip my eyes out.

My Little Eye ~ The list of reasons I hated it is too long. The only reason I didn't? Bradley Cooper.

Short Cuts ~ biggest misnomer EVER. I'm sure there were good things about it, but by the time we finally got to the end of the film, bugger me if I could remember any of them.

Wild at Heart ~ There is no need for me to hear the sound of someone squelching their own finger in their brain. And there is no need for Willem Defoe with horrible brown teeth to hisssss obsceneties in Laura Dern's ear while I'm watching either.

Last House on the Left ~ Honestly? there are no words. It's beyond horrifyingly horrible.

Texas Chainsaw Massacre ~ boring followed by people so annoying you were pleading for them to die, which it took them far, FAR too long to do.

Anaconda ~ It did spawn the comedy gold "The Anaconda has eaten John Voight" caption in Empire Magazine to this picture , but it was otherwise appalling. The special effects were the worst. Besides, I was grumpy that day. Interestingly, I saw it with the same people I saw Fantastic Four with, only they all loved it and I hated it.

Howard's End ~ I couldn't bring myself to care about the characters, which meant the film was wasted on me.

Wolf Creek ~ I waited far too long to ask B if we couldnt' just turn the damn thing off. Vile.

Wrong Turn ~ If I tell you that Eliza Dushku is seen tied to a bed with wire wearing a white tank top (vest) and her underwear, sweaty and dirty and writhing around and that I still didn't like this film, you will understand how bad it is. Cos day-um she's awfully hot like that. Cheap nasty horror.

Hmmm. Mostly horror films on this list, with a smattering of period pieces. Guess I know what genres aren't really my thing.