Fabulous is as fabulous does [rivers

Johnny Weir responds to the Quebecois commentators who questioned his gender (goes to EW article with embedded video, not autoplay). He is articulate, totally calm, and utterly wins my heart by stating again and again that there is a generation of kids out there who need role models who show that being yourself and being proud to be who you are is a good thing, and that they need to know that hateful speech isn't okay. He was essentially saying that he was not personally hurt, but that he wanted people to think before they spoke because there are kids out there who don't have his parents and fans and friends who support him in whatever he does.

I'm not even saying this very well. I just... I'm all teary and tight in my chest. He's said on more than one occasion that who he sleeps with is no one's business. He's not wrong. But he is SO outspoken and unapologetic about not being the stereotypical straight man, so unabashedly sparkly and fabulous, so divalicious. I feel like so often queer activism is focused on how queers are "just like everyone else" like that is the only way we deserve equality or respect. Fuck that. The butch dykes, limp-wristed fags, gender queer folks, the bois and grrls--everyone, no matter how much they do or do not blend in to average, middle-of-the-road society, deserves equality and respect. Sometimes, being queer really is not about who you do or do not sleep with. It's about what you look like, how you present to the world, how many pairs of shoes you do or do not own, the way you look at gender roles, the ways you don't conform. And the kids who fall into those categories need role models just as much, if not much more, than the good students who are good at soccer and happen to get hard/wet for their team mates.

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OMG, thank you so much for posting this. I'm totally teary-eyed right now.

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You are most welcome. I watched it like an hour ago now (I had to make a Johnny icon before I could post) and I still get all choked whenever I think about it. ♥

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I think it's unfortunate that so many gay people (even out, vocal gay people) seem to resent the really fabulously out, proud, vibrant, unapologetic queers out there. You're so right about the whole trying so hard to be "just like everyone else" thing. I don't know if it's because they think it makes them easier for the rest of the world to accept, or what. And that people like Johnny and Adam Lambert are hurting their cause by being so out there and scary to the poor heteros. I mean, most of the people who have a problem with homosexuality don't differentiate, do they?

And what's the big preoccupation with sex acts? The way some of these haters go on about sodomy, you'd think they'd never done anything other than missionary. You know Ma and Pa Kettle get up to some kinky shit when the lights go out.

Edited Date: 2010-02-26 06:08 am (UTC)

I think with all civil rights movements, there has been a time and a place for "palatable" and then a need for a group to stand up and say, "we can be different and still be human." And I feel like I've been waiting a long time for that to happen in any kind of mainstream way in the queer movement. Despite the fact that I am SO the mainstream by just about every standard. It still upsets me and pisses me off: that whole attitude like people shouldn't be themselves.

*huga tight*

I just love how FIERCE he is:) <333

*cuddles*

yeah. He just... He didn't need to do that, and he didn't need to do it the way he did, and it just kills me in the best way that he made it happen. I really love him a lot right now.

I... kind of want to kiss him with tongue right now.

I know, right? ♥

What I liked about this is that he talked not only about young queer kids out there, but their parents who might not give their kids the freedom to be self-expressive if they see people being treated cruelly. I just love what he says about his parents: can you imagine them being more proud?

You're so beautifully articulate and passionate, too, and I heart you VERY MUCH.

Yes! The parents. And how they need role models, too, and positive rather than negative reinforcement. I heart his parents so much after watching that. Though I adored his mom pretty much already after seeing her on his show (his dad has not made an appearance)

Thank you so much, honey! *adores*

Absolutely brilliant that he called those guys out, and his articulation of how much damage they have the potential to cause to another generation was spot on.

The butch dykes, limp-wristed fags, gender queer folks, the bois and grrls--everyone, no matter how much they do or do not blend in to average, middle-of-the-road society, deserves equality and respect.

*this*

I loved how when (to my eye) the reporter was trying to bait him into flailing and saying, "Fire them all!!!!!!" he just kept to his message, repeating that he wasn't looking for anything except to make a point that people need to think before they speak, and that flamboyant men should not just be the butt of jokes.

*smishes*

I don't know anything about his performance in his sport, but just from that press conference it's clear what an amazing role model he is. Thank you for sharing, and for your own inspiring words.

You are most welcome!

He is definitely flamboyant, and the very stereotype of a bitchy queen, and he skates like he believes beauty and elegance are of equal importance to strength and power in men's skating as well as women's, and he refuses to lie down gracefully in the mold people desire to put him in. and I think he's amazing :D

This, all of this, I am crying. In a good way.

Is it bad to say I'm pleased to not be alone in that? I really just don't have the right words for why this hit me so powerfully.

You're not alone --- not by far. It's just something that folks don't like to talk about. :( Which makes me so happy that you posted this. -hugs-

wow, good for him! i'm impressed by his calm. i like your post, too.

he reminds me somewhat of tom lenk, who felt he had to hide his orientation until he came out a year or so ago. it's just sad that there are people who still think like those quebecois newsguys. i wish we were past that kind of stupidity by now.

He was rather stunning :) And thank you!

I would so love it if we could be past that stupidity. Sadly, the stupidity iceberg seems to go all the way to the ocean floor :(

But in the mean time, we have shining lights in the darkness. \

And I hadn't realized that Tom came out! Which makes me sad, because I love him. (sad I didn't know. not sad that he came out. that makes me HAPPY!)

proof! :) (http://www.afterelton.com/blog/michaeljensen/buffy-the-vampire-slayer-andrew-out)

i bought that issue of the Advocate special for him. he's a cutie pie.

Gods, THIS!! \O/ I so love how composed and mature and logical his speech was. It was the perfect reminder that being really out there and yourself and standing out from the crowd is totally okay and should be respected, (and I think I needed that reminder, after spending so much time trying to blend in professionally as a teacher).

*hugs you and Johhny and everyone tight* :)

Thank you so much for posting this!

There is so much pressure in our society to fit in, fit in, fit in, all the time, and it's utterly exhausting and heartbreaking, and sadly sometimes utterly futile for some people, and if everyone who was lucky enough to have a life like Johnny's, with supportive parents, and friends, and a platform from which to speak, could feel safe to do what he's doing, I think that would do a lot to change how some of the people who aren't so lucky lived their lives.

*smishsmish*

You're welcome!

Both Johnny and yourself are very articulate. *hug*

thank you, bb ♥

Have you seen this? (http://current.com/items/92224102_thats-gay-johnny-weir.htm) Both funny AND smart; it really tears down all the dumb, obviously homophobic reasons people have for trashing him over and over again.

Thanks for the link! He's such a dear. And well-put; obviously it's good for people to know that the queers don't just fit into gratuitous stereotypes, but we also shouldn't have to be ashamed when we are butch/limp-wristed/what-have-you! Be proud no matter who you are, man.

I had not seen that, but he SO was echoing a lot of my thoughts about the way everyone talks about Johnny, like he's this thing they don't quite know what to do with, rather than a skater :( He's much funnier than my gloomy thoughts, though :D

You are welcome! \o/ for Johnny. (and for your awesome icon)

Oh, I so love him and you for everything here! Is there any chance you'd unlock this so I can link to it? My posts are all locked, too, it's just that your wonderful comments are what brought the tears to my eyes. Johnny made me beam, but your words are the ones that really hit me.

I've unlocked it for you :) I wasn't feeling strong enough last night to deal with any arguments that came up (after reading the stupid comments on the EW site, which I should never do)

*hugs*

Edited Date: 2010-02-26 10:58 pm (UTC)

Hi! I'm Zara. I'm a long-time lurker and reader of your SPN fic. It's funny that this is what would bring me to comment in the end.

Thanks so much for posting this! I haven't really been watching the Olympics, but I've been keeping up with Johnny Weir (half my FList is in love with him) and I admire his poise and self-respect in his response to those commentators.

I loved his crediting his parents with how well they raised him. <3 Can you imagine how proud they must feel? And I was pretty impressed with how he continued to stay cool and on-track considering the questions people must have been asking. It was gorgeous, his focus on his hope for other people rather than on his own anger or disappointment.

At the same time, I wish there were a fair forum in which he could get mad. Strategically speaking, I can't imagine it would have worked if he had; you know some idiots would call him hysterical or a diva or something and it would all have gone out the window. (He was pretty slick in acknowledging that he was "pissed" at first, and that other people might legitimately be angry.) But I wish he could articulate his anger/hurt/exasperation (I'm just guessing at his feelings here, but that's how I feel whenever anyone throws some tired racist stuff at me) and have that be an acceptable reaction. Guys who aren't sparkly get mad when people question who they are and they get taken seriously. Why shouldn't Johnny Weir be mad?

Also, you said, I feel like so often queer activism is focused on how queers are "just like everyone else" like that is the only way we deserve equality or respect.

WORD. It's that whole "Gay people are okay as long as they act straight in public" song-and-dance. (The best way I relate to this is by filtering it through my experiences with racism: i.e., it's okay for me to be black as long as I pretend really, really hard that I'm not so that nobody has to think about it.) You don't really notice how much self-hatred that kind of thinking cultivates, but it's kind of a sickness within various movements. Johnny Weir is fantastic for how utterly himself he is. I love him for making no excuses and offering no apologies -- for knowing himself well enough that he knows he doesn't owe anybody anything for how fabulous he is.

Hello! I'm glad to see you :D

I think his parents must be so proud of him. I've been watching his TV show that he did on the Sundance Channel, and while his father isn't in it (not yet at least), his mother always seems super proud. A great woman--great people--to have raised such a son.

He's got to be tired of the shit that gets tossed his way--both the designed to needle shit, like in this instance, and the casual and unthinking stuff like what gets talked about in this vid (http://current.com/items/92224102_thats-gay-johnny-weir.htm), with how he's never an "athlete", he's always "flamboyant Johnny" or "controversial Johnny"...

at the same time, he has a lot of privilege on his side. White, male, supportive family, not poor, and that allows him a lot of freedom to let shit like that roll off his back. He's fighting one front at a time. Not to say it shouldn't get him down, or that he was fine with it--just that I can see how it was very possibly not any kind of compromise on his part to say what he said and not need to get demonstrably angry about it. Also, in not getting pissed the way not-sparkly boys would (and they so would!) he proved his point that being called feminine isn't an insult. that he sees nothing wrong with incorporating those aspects into his masculinity.

But I think, too, that privilege is why I feel so touched by what he did and how he went about it. The privileges he has, and that he was happy to acknowledge, mean that what a couple dickheads said doesn't really impact his life and how he is safe to live it all that much. and so many people don't even bother to think about other people who aren't as lucky. but he did. And he stood up to say that behavior wasn't acceptable.

What you said about racism made me think of my long-ago and quite crappy American History book. In the chapter on the civil rights movement, there was a rather simplistic section on Martin Luther King Jr. and Malcolm X, and the people who didn't want the Black Panthers seen or heard. And, of course, it's not exactly a parallel, but I think, as you say, various movements have similar situations, where there is a face that feels more acceptable to the culture in power, and a face that is less so, and a truly unfortunate amount of conflict happens within the movement itself over that fact. I get sick when I see these blatantly gay men complaining that Johnny gives figure skating a bad name. So so much self-hatred on display there. And yet it is an unfortunate fact of society that it wants to put people into boxes rather than let every individual exist. So it's not like I have no clue why they do it. I can't help but think, though, if there was less self-hatred going on, there would be more people who could be out and proud about every way they are "different" and that would have to make people less afraid.

I don't know. I feel like I've stopped making sense. but I'm so glad you stopped in to chat! :D

YES! *smishes you*

♥♥

I KNOW RIGHT! I watched that interview so many times yesterday just so moved and SO IN LOVE WITH HIM. because he could have let all that roll off his back and as it just applies to him he did. but he sees the bigger picture and wanted to speak out because it's NOT OKAY.

I really really adore him.

I adore him even more after watching his show on Sundance. He was working with a group of kids, and it just totally made my heart flutter and melt all at once. he is so damn good with them! And I think that he is much more honest with himself because of the way he always works on being whoever he wants to be that day.

idk. he's just wonderful.

have you heard these radio interviews? part one (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-IigDgWcseI&feature=player_embedded) part two (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hj-Ur0z0sr8) part three (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5-KCCiO5T-I) part four (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZpjnyONeeFY)

oh I have not! he's awesome. I'm kind of in love.

butch dykes, limp-wristed fags, gender queer folks, the bois and grrls--everyone, no matter how much they do or do not blend in to average, middle-of-the-road society, deserves equality and respect. Sometimes, being queer really is not about who you do or do not sleep with. It's about what you look like, how you present to the world, how many pairs of shoes you do or do not own, the way you look at gender roles, the ways you don't conform.

You say it so eloquently. It's definitely about everyone: the ambiguous hets, the screaming queens and everything inbetween.

*waves rainbow flag*

I just get so tired of all the little boxes some people want to put the rest of us into. *sigh*

♥

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Fabulous is as fabulous does

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January