rivers_bend

Okay, I don't normally admit to this in public, but: I feel awkward about receiving/answering feedback in general. There are days when I really, really want to turn off comments altogether.

On the one hand: feedback is lovely, it's an ego boost, and people like to comment on stuff they've enjoyed. So I leave comments on for those reasons, and because sometimes you can strike up great conversations that way.

On the other hand: I think not responding to feedback is, well, impolite, unless you specifically state somewhere that you don't do it. BUT. When I'm blessed with lots of feedback, I feel obliged to respond to all of it, and this is where the awkwardness comes in. Because it's really difficult to not repeat myself (which I hate doing) when responding, or else trying to think of something interesting to say, and I often end up feeling like an idiot and wondering if anyone really cares whether I acknowledge their feedback or not. And not in a 'my first world writerly problems' way--I don't need to feel popular; I just don't want to be rude!

There was a short period in 2007 when I DID turn off comments, and only accepted feedback via email (particularly for Big Bang). It was something of an experiment, but also mostly because of the above awkwardness. I did observe the feedback I received was ... not "better", but more detailed, and geared more toward points of interest that were also interesting to me as the writer. There was also much less feedback than I would probably have received if I'd left comments on, but this didn't bother me, because of the aforementioned detail/quality of the feedback I did receive. It was of interest in a cynical sense, though.

Bottom line: I like everything I write, because if I didn't like it I wouldn't write it in the first place, let alone post it. My general aim is to write the sort of thing I like to read--which is why I often go back and re-read my fic, even if it involves cringing and eye-rolling and occasionally, pointing and laughing.

... talk about overthinking it. I think I need a beer. And to get back to wrestling with the fic of the moment.