rivers_bend

So I was looking for something in some old folders I found on a pen drive and came across the following. I... I really hope I wrote it for a prompt? It's absolute crack. I don't even have any clue when I wrote it because it only has the date I moved the file onto my hard drive. So it might exist in some comment fic form somewhere, I have no idea. But anyway. Here you go...

Title: Share and Share Alike
Pairing: Sam/Dean
Words: 333
Spoilers: None (I mentioned the crack, right?) Canon era.
Rating: C for Crack (and R? for sexual content)
Summary: Dean's having battery trouble. Sam can help.



"Fuck," Dean mutters, waking Sam. "For the love of..."

"Dean? You okay?" Sam really hopes so, 'cause he's tired and not in the mood for more fighting off nymphs.

"Yeah, nothing, go back to sleep."

It doesn't sound like nothing. Dean sounds in pain. Out of breath. "Dean?"

"Nothing!"

"Dean." Sam's not fooling around now. If something's wrong with his brother he needs to know about it.

"Fine. If you're going to be pushy, my batteries ran out. Don't suppose you'd lend a man in need your vibrator?"

"Dean!" Sam's scandalized. Kind of. Except for how he's suddenly totally stopped thinking about sleep and instead has a brain full of pictures of Dean writhing at the end of a vibrator, gasping, moaning, coming... Scandalized, horny as hell, is there really that much of a difference?

"Never mind. I told you it was nothing."

But Sam has dipped into his duffle already, and is sliding out of bed towards Dean. When Dean sees him, his eyes go wide.

"Really?" he says and holds out his hand.

Sam holds it just out of reach. "Not so fast."

"Come on, Sammy. I was so close. Just give--"

Sam notes for future reference that a really good way to shut Dean up is to slide a hand between his legs and pull a dead vibrator out of his ass.

"Sam? What? What are you--"

An even better way is to replace it with one that's good to go. (Sam always was better at remembering to plug in the battery charger as soon as they got a room.)

"GNAAAHHH," Dean says, and then, "aaammmmmgnh."

"Is my aim off? Should I move? Stop?"

"Gargh! I'll fucking kill you if you stop. Fuck. FUCK!"

Sam smiles. "Thought so."

~~

Later, when Sam is in the bathroom cleaning their toys, Dean comes up behind him and says, "Dude, what was that? Are you..? We..?"

Sam is pleased to discover that kissing Dean shuts him up pretty effectively too.
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btw, this is my 99th posted SPN fic. One more to 100! *shakes head*