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Damn and curse the man. I haven't been able to watch any episodes of SPN since the finale, and any SPN stories that are set in season three, have the boys separated, or in any way are other than out-and-out schmoop or PWP and are unrelated to anything Kripke did to them, have become unreadable to me. WHICH IS KILLING ME! There are so many AMAZING looking Big Bang fics, and series and other fics too, and every time I try to start one I go all cold and numb and want to cry, and I'm sick of it. It only takes reading their names sometimes. I have no idea why I can still write them, I think because I'm sticking to pre-series, when the biggest problem in their life is Jess, but I want to be able to wallow in all this gorgeous fic, and I can't. *cries*

in conclusion: If you've written a Sam/Dean fic and I haven't commented, I apologize a million times. I have bookmarks. This has to break sometime.

*goes back to romantic J2 AUs*

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There are 12 comments on this entry. (Reply.)

Ah, yes... I'm having a little bit of that problem, too... Thankfully, I'm all for the Angst, if it's good angst with Sam/Dean... So I'm reading those that my flist is rec'ing... :D

... Say... You read any good J2 AU Big Bang fics I may have missed? *halo*
*has run out of J2 BB fics that have been rec'd by my flist*

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Have you read this (http://misskittye.livejournal.com/292778.html?style=mine) Jensen is a vet fic? I'm not sure it's a big bang, but it's good. and even has a very angsty middle for you *g*

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*hehe* *blushes profusely* You rec'd that earlier this month, didn't you!!! *looks at date of bookmark - 9th June*

I was not in mind space to read Angst then. I AM NOW! :D I shall read it next. *nods enthusiastically*

*♥*hugs you tight and nuzzles your neck*♥*

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I can't have rec'd it earlier, cos I just read it today *g*

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Oh. lol. Well someone rec'd it around the 9th. :D And I bookmarked it. And... Well, it's been rec'd TWICE now!!! :D A definite must read. And definitely not a Big Bang because it appeared too early :)

Anyhoo... 3am... I think it's time for bed. *Teehee*
Enjoy your Wednesday! :)

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Oh, honey, I completely understand. I have to use a force of steely will to read things set post-Season 3 finale and I'm *writing* one, so I entirely get it, truly. *hugs*

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I just... Your series, and so many other things that I keep thinking, today I'll be fine and then I'm totally not. It's a television show. But it's ridiculously deep in my heart apparently.

*clings*

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You and I share this problem. I still can only watch a very, very few pre-S3 episodes, like only those really angsty, hurty, or sad ones like WIAWSNB, Bloodlust, AHBL1 & 2, Hunted and BUABS, where I already know the storyline will make me sad, worried, and angsty, so what's another layer added it it? So I can watch those few, and hurt for them, and it's okay.

I can't watch anything with happy boys. They make me scream with the shaking and the tears. It's ridiculous. I nearly died trying to watch Tall Tales. Really. OH, BOYS.

Same goes for vids, and fic. So little I can actually stand to read, too hurty.

For this reason, I can't wait until S4. I am gobbling up spoilers, sides, anything that might hold some chance that it will be all right, even though I know in my heart it never will be again. I mean, how can it be? How can you come back from what they both went through? I hurt for Sam as much as Dean. Truly. *cries*

I've been slowly making my way back through S3 week by week as the re-runs air. So far, it's been okay with only a little bit of sniffles. I think it's been okay because I'm taking it slow. I want to go through them all in order and am hoping by the time I get to the end, I'll be able to watch 3.16 again without losing my mind. I tried to watch it twice after it aired, and nearly lost my breath from crying so hard.

I came inside the other day and the children were watching the Pilot and I stopped, frozen... it was the "shotgun shuts his cakehole line" that rung in my ears, and as soon as Dean pulled out of the gas station playing "Back in Black," I burst into tears and ran away. They laughed at me.

Why does it hurt so much? Because everything led up to the end of S3. We all know what happens to Dean, and to Sam, now. And watching so many of the earlier, happier shows with this knowledge shows me how many, many times things that happened later were either forecast or alluded to. Their fate was set, even in the Pilot. I mean - have you listened to that song?

Later, they were watching Wendigo. It was Dean trying to convince Sam about "saving people, hunting things..." OHMYGOD I can't even type it. It just HURTS.

*snif*

Now I need tissues.

I, too have been reading pre-series things, Teen!chesters, and the like, and have been spending time at

spnmysteryyears because during the Stanford Years were the first time they were separated for any length of time and lots of learning went on then. Also, they were younger and angsty. I don't know why that helps, but it does.

I hear you have a Stanford era fic or 'verse that is wonderful. I'll check that out... unless I am mistaken?

*hugs you*

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I do have a stanford verse, that I don't know if it's wonderful, but it is my escape place at the moment. I had plans to take it to where they are at the point Sam goes with Jess, but I'm not sure I can now. Maybe once my hormones leave me alone? It's prony and angsty and I can fool myself that everything will be okay.

*smishes*

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I've had to be very selective too about what to read right now. There's a lot out there at the moment that is so not my cuppa tea, a lot of deathfic and stuff that just makes my stomach hurt... And I tend to be really selective with what I read anymore anyway, the season finale fall out aside, because I've been spoiled by so many excellent writers on my flist. Most recently, I've been reading one that I stumbled upon, One Hell of a Conversation (http://community.livejournal.com/no_candle_mom/41348.html) by

zenamydog, but I can't rec it as it is not finished yet, and I'm trying not to rec things until they're finished in case they are never finished or it turns out they aren't worthy of the rec'ing.

I'm the exact opposite as far as watching episodes. I can watch the happy episodes, it's the not happy episodes I have a hard time with. For example, I LOVE Croatoan, I've seen it so many times I can just about say the lines as they're spoken, but watching it with my friend Stacey the other day-- *pauses for a sec* I had the hardest time not curling up into a little ball on the couch. Same for Hunted and OMG! Crossroad Blues! - It nearly made me ill!

About your Stanford Era series, Sarah: It is wonderful! It is the most wonderful of the wonderful. And I want MORE!!! *wails with the agony of waiting* ... As I'm sure you can tell, I'm a HUGE FAN! *nods emphatically*...

prettyfreckles, you must read it, very soon!

Edited Date: 2008-06-26 02:47 am (UTC)

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I guess this'll teach me for writing angst, hmmm? *hugs*

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*HUGS*

You'll be okay. After all, there'll be Season 4. And Kripke's bound to have figured out some new ways to make us curse and scream...
Besides, if this lets us have delightful pre-series fics, I'm all good. :)

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rivers_bend

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January