The Deluxe Transitive Vampire

[rivers_bend]

I ordered a bunch of text books and some DVDs last week, and some of them have come. Including The Patriot, a book of short stories and poems by Maggie Dubris, called Weep not, my wanton, and a book for my professional editing class called, The Deluxe Transitive Vampire.

I must let you read the beginning of the jacket copy:

Here now is an enlarged version of the only handbook of grammar you will ever want to read. With this special edition, Karen Gordon gives the reader more illustrations and even more examples of confusing appositives, the many uses of gerunds, the complicated matter of agreements.

The Deluxe Transitive Vampire spins a lively gothic narrative with such characters as the Debutante, famous courtesan, wolf, bat, vampire, mastodon, pizza chef, lummox, lamia, and trilingual solitary. ...

so yes. A vampire themed grammar book. *g*

some examples from the section on Subject-Verb agreement:
The lingua franca in these parts is Rumanian mixed with blood and cash.

The bat suspended from Loona's hairdo was repulsed by her Nuit Blanche perfume.

Though, the book takes care to point out that things get more confusing when you have a group that may act as one or as individuals. To wit:
The menage a trois is rousing itself or trundling off to sleep.

or

The menage a trois are going back on their vows and are going their separate ways.

Blood, bats and threesomes. I like it. *flips pages* oooh! and solitary robots. *heee*

Comments

[fromyourashes.livejournal.com]

MUST HAVE.


LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

[rivers-bend.livejournal.com]

I NO, RITE?

*glee*

[topaz-eyes.livejournal.com]

Oh man, where do I get a copy? :-D

[rivers-bend.livejournal.com]

I got a 'used' but looks new copy from Abebooks.com for the rather delicious price of 5.95 plus 3.00 shipping. Which I thought compared rather well to the 24.95 the campus bookstore wanted to charge me for a used copy. I do love that the bookstore has signs everywhere assuring me they have the best prices on my textbooks *g*

It's cheered me right up, this book!

[jadesfire.livejournal.com]

Oh wow. See, if they taught kids grammar like that... :D

*goes to find a copy*

[rivers-bend.livejournal.com]

Totally. Diagramming sentences about dogs catching balls just isn't nearly as much fun. *g* And who doesn't want black and white illustrations of topless women with serpents wrapped round their heads to help them learn relative pronouns?

[violetknights.livejournal.com]

I must read more slowly - first time round i read it as Deluxe Transvestite Vampire! I still wanted to read it tho'...

[rivers-bend.livejournal.com]

It's great fun. Even without the transvestites. Though... *skims pictures* I think there are some...

[laceandgrace.livejournal.com]

HEEEEEEEEEEEE. That sounds like a most educational book. I might have to look into it.

[rivers-bend.livejournal.com]

It's worth a look, even if you just flip through it at a bookstore and don't fork over any cash *g*

[milady1844.livejournal.com]

OMG, if I could have had that book in high school, I might have actually learned proper grammar! I'm so going to get this. How fun!

[rivers-bend.livejournal.com]

I know! Grammar was so boring! But she uses slash to teach about gerunds!

A frequent pastime of his is ogling stevedores.

[milady1844.livejournal.com]

ROFLMAO

"Ogling stevedores" sounds like some new band. :)

[fleshflutter.livejournal.com]

And that's how people actually learn stuff. With vampires and threesomes et al. :)
♥

[rivers-bend.livejournal.com]

Indeed. More vampires, I always say! *g*

[purridot.livejournal.com]

YAY! I have that book! Karen Elizabeth Gordon is my hero.

Confession time -- it is my dream (never to be realized, but still) to write an ancient Greek grammar text that is actually interesting and fun -- exactly like that book.

Does the Deluxe Edition come with the punctuation guide, "The-Well Tempered Sentence" by the same author?

[thehighwaywoman.livejournal.com]

O__O

...

WANT. *zooms to Amazon*

[tabularassa.livejournal.com]

I want to read that vampire book! LIKE NOW:) That will be all. <3

[silsbee329.livejournal.com]

Man! You kids these days have all the fun in school! ;p

[ennui-blue-lite.livejournal.com]

At first, I read that as The Deluxe Transvestite Vampire, and was like, 'that is the coolest thing ever! Cross-Dressing vampires! Awesome!' Then I saw my mistake, and was sad.

But actually, thats still pretty cool. All textbooks should be written with such a fun vibe. I would totally love it if my textbooks all came with Vampires and menage a troises (is 'troises' the plural of 'trois'? Probably not, but I never took French).

[daisylily.livejournal.com]

That sounds like an extremely excellent book :D

[crumble72.livejournal.com]

Wow that sounds like hte perfect gramar book! *g*

[victorian-tweed.livejournal.com]

OMG, that grammar book sounds like an absolute hoot! *laughs*

[sadelyrate.livejournal.com]

Oh, sweet, sweet lords...
*stares*

Why weren't our grammar books like that?! I demand a refund!

It certainly looks like a lot of fun. :)