Oh man. I both did & didn't want to hear Rachel's side of things as I was already so much in Nate's camp. But this. Wow. I really feel for her, but it's odd, I feel more for Nate than her. I wonder if I'd read this first if I'd be more sympathetic for Rachel. Or perhaps it's cause it was only later in life I caught on to the fact that I was bi that has me so firmly rooting for Nate.

This was very well written. You make Rachel believable and very human. Considering that this is what you sent in as your writing sample, I'd guess you'll not have any problems getting in.